If you recall, I had been hemming and hawing about participating in NaNoWriMo this year. I really, really wanted to, and every time I thought about it, I came up with a hundred ways I could make it work.
I went to bed last night thinking about my possible NaNo project, and I woke up thinking about getting started. I was working out schedules of how to balance the revisions on my current WIP and writing new words for NaNo, giving myself little pep talks, and even thinking things like, "I can easily manage 2,000 words a day...that's nothing." (Ha!)
In fact, I even locked myself into my classroom at lunch and got started. I typed up over 1,000 words, and I left work today feeling pretty darn proud of myself. (The words were crap, but isn't that the spirit of NaNo?)
But on my drive home from work, reality hit me.
There's no possible way I can do NaNo this year. WTF was I thinking?
I mean, let's pull out heads out of fantasy land for a second and be real about this. I have a full-time job as well as a part-time job. Even though I don't work the PT job very often, and I can kind of pick and choose my hours, it's still two jobs. Then there is the Thanksgiving vacation I'm taking. The three concerts I have tickets to this week alone. The fact that my bff is coming into town.
Oh, and the fact that I am still revising my WIP.
As much as I told myself, oh I can still get it revised, or, oh, it's good to get a little space from it, blah blah blah, the truth is that I really want to finish it. Sooner rather than later. And I got my confirmation e-mail for Big Sur today, and, well, wouldn't it be nice for it to be a little more polished when it's time to go up there? I think it would.
Add to all of this the fact that I'm sick. I've been fighting a mild cold for two weeks now...today marked week three of sickness. And today was the worst. My throat is so sore, it feels like someone scratched it up with sharp nails. I've kinda wanted to cry all day, and I've finally realized that I think week three is when you throw in the towel and finally go to the doctor to see what's wrong with you.
So between being sick, ridiculously busy, and already committed to another novel, I finally had to accept the fact that NaNo isn't in the cards for me this year. It makes me so sad. One ridiculous thing you need to know about me...I hate being left out of things. I'm lurking around the NaNo board on my online book club, I'm reading about all the local write-ins and wanting to participate, I hate the idea of people having fun without me. This is why I was trying so hard to talk myself into it...because standing by and not participating is killing me just a little inside.
But it's all for the best. And I'll be the best darn NaNo cheerleader there is.