Friday, October 29, 2010

New Arrivals

I've been on a bit of a spree lately, and I've been getting my hands on some new books, so I wanted to show you what I've picked up. I've been lagging on reviews over on the book blog (the future of the book blog is TBD right now, honestly), so I figured I would do some mini-reviews over here.

I've been lucky to get some awesome ARCs in the mail. Recently I've been able to read three books that I have been on the edge of my seat waiting for.

Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins

Holy cow, you guys. This book OWNS me. I knew I would love it, because I love romantic stories and I LOVE Paris* like you wouldn't believe. I had no idea how MUCH I would love this book, though. Every single word of this book is just so perfect. I started a little book tour around my writing group, and so far everyone who has read it totally agrees with me. It's not just like that we feel for this book, it's passionate love. I want to make out with this book. For real. I urge everyone to pre-order it or grab it the day it comes out (December 2nd, in case you don't have it marked on your calendar)...I want everyone to fall in love with it the way I did.


Across the Universe by Beth Revis

I loved the premise of this book, but since I'm not really a sci-fi girl, I wasn't sure if it would be my cup of tea. But I do have to admit, when I came home and saw it sitting on my front porch I got a little (ok, a lot) excited, and I tore into it right away. I have to say...if you are iffy about the sci-fi like I was, DON'T BE. This book is rad. It's been several weeks since I've read it, but I still find myself zoning out and thinking about the world, wondering about Amy and Elder and life on Godspeed. This book draws you into its world and its mystery immediately, and there are so many twists and turns. I couldn't put it down. There's tons of hype surrounding this book, and in my opinion it is totally deserved.


Fall for Anything by Courtney Summers

I am a huge Courtney Summers fangirl. What I loved the most about both Cracked Up To Be and Some Girls Are was her ability to create such flawed by relatable narrators; I really like bitchy main characters. I was concerned I might not like this one as much just because the narrator wasn't a mean girl, but that was pretty ridiculous. Just because Eddie isn't a bitch, that doesn't mean she's boring. I read this book in one voracious gulp; I just could NOT put it down. Courtney Summers is just...well, she writes exactly how I wish I could. This book has a dead dad, but never ventures into Dead Dad Book territory, even the most minor of characters has a personality that leaps off of the page, there is a compelling mystery, and, well, it just makes you FEEL. So, so many emotions.

So, these three books that are coming out in the next few months are total win. Highly recommended.

I've also picked up some new books at the bookstore. I live in a tiny apartment, and I don't have a lot of shelf space. But I was also raised by a few generations of book collectors...so I just like having books. Even though my two shelves are totally full, I picked up a few new things anyway.

Dash & Lily's Book of Dares by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan

I first read Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist** right when I was staring to get into YA. Honestly, I think that book is part of the reason I fell so hard for YA...because how rad is that book? I loved everything about it. I devoured everything by David Levithan after that, and I truly think that man is a genius. Everything he touches turns to gold for me. And I think there are few people who can nail a voice like Rachel Cohn. So I have been anxiously awaiting this one. And let me tell you, it didn't disappoint at all. This book was just so much fun. If you love Christmas and New York and words and David and Rachel, you will enjoy the crap out of this book.

Confessions of the Sullivan Sisters by Natalie Standiford

I haven't read this one yet. I'm saving some of my recent book purchases for my vacation over Thanksgiving break, so this is going to be one of my airplane/beach reads. I've heard such great things about it, though, and I really enjoyed How To Say Goodbye In Robot, so I'm positive I will like it.


The Mockingbirds by Daisy Whitney

This is another vacation read, unless I decide to crack it open early. I actually lucked out because this book isn't on sale until next week, but my Borders had it out over two weeks early. I'll admit, I freaked out just a little bit when I saw it on the shelves. Daisy Whitney is a debut author***, and I've heard nothing but praise for this book, so I knew I had to support and buy a copy. I have to admit, it's a little difficult to save these great books for vacation****, but luckily I've been so busy recently that it makes the temptation a little easier to handle.

So, those are my recent purchases***** and ARC reads. Have you read anything awesome lately?


* I took a trip to London and Paris. I thought for sure that I was going to fall madly in love with London and never want to leave and just be "eh" about Paris. It ended up being almost the opposite. I liked London, but I didn't fall in love the way I was so sure that I would, and I just adored everything about Paris. It was a total surprise, and that made me love it even more. I can't wait to go back and spend some serious quality time there...but I'm afraid I'm never going to want to leave.

** I still haven't watched the Nick & Norah's movie, and I don't think I ever will. I'm afraid it will ruin the book for me. And Michael Cera? I love him, but he's so not Nick.

*** She also works in media as her day job, which is my former career. GO MEDIA! I worked in media before I went back to school to get my teaching credential. (MAN does that seem like a whole lifetime ago.) With Daisy being a debut YA author AND a media babe, well, I have no choice but to support her. It's a given.

**** I'm also saving Losing Faith by Denise Jaden, Sea by Heidi Kling, You Wish by Mandy Hubbard, and Geektastic by, well, like a zillion people.

***** I also picked up an adult book...One Day by David Nicholls. But who cares about that? Heh.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Tuesday Tunes (3)

One album I've found myself writing to a lot recently is the Spring Awakening soundtrack. If you aren't familiar with it, Spring Awakening is a German play written in the 1890s that was recently adapted into a Broadway musical. The story has stayed the same, it is still set in 1890s Germany, but the music is all rock and modern, thanks to Duncan Sheik and Steven Sater. So even if you aren't a fan of showtunes or musicals, I think you might really enjoy the music from this show, because it doesn't sound like showtunes. It just sounds like awesome. 


I think the music in Spring Awakening so perfectly captures all of the angst that comes along with being a teenager and exploring your developing sexuality. Of course, the play is not without scandal, since it really has a little bit of something to offend just about everyone. Sex, homosexuality, masturbation, child abuse, suicide, rape, nudity, and abortion. Oh my! However, it's all centered on some of my favorite YA themes - love, relationships, self-identity, and friendship.


All of the songs in this show are so perfect for getting you in the mood to write YA because, BAM. ANGST. All over the place. I have all the songs on my current writing playlist, and, honestly, it's hard for me to not sing along out loud when they come up in the shuffle. (This can get a little embarrassing when I'm writing at Panera, but I really don't care much. Not much shame going on over here.) And did I mention that the original Broadway cast recording features Lea Michele and Jonathan Groff of Glee fame? (Oh man, I love me some Glee, and I need Jonathan Groff back on as Jesse like yesterday.) Yeah. So awesome. 


As I was putting together this post, I wasn't sure which song from the soundtrack to feature, since they are all so angsty and YA-perfect, each capturing a different feeling of what it's like to be a confused teenager. But then I looked at my iTunes play count, and it looks like one particular song has been played THREE TIMES as many times as the rest of the soundtrack. So, yeah, it looks like I do have a favorite track after all. 



(This video is the OBC performing live in Bryant Park. It's not the best sound quality, but I just love seeing the cast singing it!)



(This is the studio version that's on the album. The sound is way better, but there's no video.)

Has a song ever captured the feeling of a teenage crush so perfectly? I don't think so. I really don't. This song touches on all of it. The daydreaming about what you would say and do if you had time alone together. The listening to music and swearing that every song is somehow about you and your crush. The overlooking the a-holey things your crush does because you are blinded by lurve. This song makes me think back on my own high school crush, Travis. Oh, poor, poor Travis. I spent the better part of three years with Travis as "my junk." Every single thing I did somehow tied into my ultimate goal of TRAVIS SOMEHOW REALIZING THAT WE ARE MEANT TO BE. (Spoiler alert: It never happened)


This song = every feeling I ever had for Travis and every crush that came after him. And this song = the feeling I try to capture when I write about YA characters having a mad crush on someone. 


My Junk - Spring Awakening


In the midst of this nothing, this mess of a life,
Still there's this one thing, just to see you go by.
It's almost like lovin', sad as that is.
May not be cool, but it's so where I live.

It's like I'm your lover, or more like your ghost.
I spend the day wondering what you do, where you go.
I try and just kick it but what can I do?
We've all got our junk, and my junk is you.

See us winter walking after a storm.
It's chill in the wind but it's warm in your arms.
We stumble snow-blind, may not be true.
We've all got our junk, and my junk is you.

Well, you’ll have to excuse me, I know it’s so off.
I love when you do stuff that’s rude and so wrong.
I go up to my room, turn the stereo on…
Shoot up some you, and the you is some song.

I lie back just drifting and play out these scenes
I ride on the rush of all the hopes and the dreams.
I may be neglecting the things I should do.
But we've all got our junk, and my junk is you.

See we still keep talking after you're gone.
You still with me then, feels so good in my arms.
They say you go blind, maybe it's true.
We've all got our junk, and my junk is you.

It's like we stop time. What can I do?
We've all got our junk, and my junk is you.
My junk is you.
My junk is you.
You. You. You.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Revision Highlights

So, I'm working on revising my WIP. I'd love to have a helpful and insightful post where I share my revision process with you, but the truth is, I'm really figuring out my revision process as I go.

I'm on draft three right now, and I decided to print the whole thing out and put it in a folder. I like writing on the computer, but I really don't like reading on the computer. So I'm just reading the whole thing through from beginning to end, and when I get to something that sticks out to me, I just highlight that line/passage.

So if I come across:

  • Clunky dialog 
  • Excessive adverbs
  • Random descriptions
  • Boring parts
  • Bits where I ramble on way too long
  • And things that just don't make any sense
I just swipe it with my highlighter and keep reading. The goal is to just read it all the way through, but I can't just skip past something that doesn't work, so I'll go back to the highlighted stuff and fix it when I am ready for the next round. 

Here's my lovely folder:

You can see I have some highlights on that page already. Hello awkward exposition and totally flat character description. I'll be seeing you later. 

I almost had a heart attack because this draft is 82,000 words. YIKES. That came out to 274 pages in Word, and I can barely turn the pages in this tiny folder. 

I obviously have a LOT of highlighting to do. 

Thursday, October 21, 2010

"We completely support your writing career!"

So, I mentioned the Big Sur conference to my mom when I was on the phone with her yesterday. I was telling her how much I wanted to go, but how I wasn't sure if I would be able to pull the money to pay for it out of the air in time to register. (I'm crafty, but I'm not that crafty.)

Well don't you know that my sweet mom offered to pay for the conference so I could register in time, and then told me I could just pay her back at my leisure? I couldn't believe it. My parents are so generous.

I almost said no, because I don't really like taking things from my parents. (Even though I know it makes my mom happy to be able to give me stuff.) But then she sent me an e-mail that said this:

"We completely support your writing career!"

You guys, I almost shed a tear, right there while my students were silent reading and I was sneakily checking my e-mail.

It feels so good to have support, doesn't it?

I'm really at a time in the process where I need some major support. I have my writing buddies, obviously, and we are all about supporting each other and being cheerleaders when needed. But sometimes you need the non-writers in your life to show their support, too. And I don't want to say that I don't feel totally supported in my writing endeavors by the people in my life. But...well.
I guess I just need to turn to my parents more.

My mom wants to support me however she can, I want and need support...so it looks like I'll be going to Big Sur! (Well, unless they reject my application or they're full or something tragic like that.)(Let's not even joke about these things.)

Do you have a lot of support from the people in your life? (And I mean the real people, not the writing people. Not that writing people aren't real, but you know what I mean.) How do they show it? And is anyone else going to Big Sur? (Squeee!)

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Conferencing

I had such a blast at the SCBWI-LA conference this summer; I learned a ton and had such an amazing time. Writing is so solitary, and I'm sure you other YA writers out there know the special look you get from people when you tell them you write stories about teenagers. So spending time surrounded by other writers, and other people who "get" YA the way you do...well, it's how I would spend all of my free time if I could.

So ever since SCBWI-LA ended, I've been poking around looking for more writing conferences I can attend. I can only learn so much by reading books and blogs, and I'm always dying to talk YA with real live people.

The first conference I'm drooling over is the Big Sur Writing Workshop for Children's Books.

It's a weekend retreat in beautiful Big Sur, a place I have been dying to visit. It's a weekend working in close proximity with Andrea Brown agents as well as some very talented authors and editors. I mean, look at the faculty list. Sara Zarr! Ellen Hopkins! Neal Shusterman! Kristen Tracy! I die!

This conference is pretty pricey (okay, really pricey), but, honestly, I could easily earn the cost of the weekend by working three shifts a week at my second job between now and the registration deadline. And the cost includes lodging and all meals, so there won't really be any extra expenses to worry about.

Eeek, I want to go so bad. The timing is pretty rotten, though. I'm going on a big trip over Thanksgiving that I need to save for, and that's the weekend of my husband's birthday.

But, but, but...Ellen Hopkins!

I don't know.

The second conference I'm drooling over is the SDSU Writers' Conference.

After reading about Shannon's experience at the SDSU conference last year, I decided I really wanted to go. I have been stalking the conference website, waiting to see when the 2011 speakers and topics will be announced, but if the '11 lineup is anything like the '10 lineup, I'll be super excited.

This one is a little more affordable, and it's a lot closer to home, and the timing is better. Unless something major happens, this one is pretty much a sure thing.

Do you have any conferences in the lineup? What do you think about these two that I'm looking at? Is anyone planning on going to either of these?

Monday, October 18, 2010

Matched ARC Giveaway Winner

Okay, it's time to announce the winner of my gently used found ARC of Matched by Ally Condie! Wooo!



And, thanks to random.org, the winner is...


*tosses confetti*

Yay Sarah! E-mail me with your mailing information, and I'll get your ARC in the mail.

Thanks everyone for following and entering! I love having giveaways, so hopefully I'll have another one soon.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

The NaNo Problem

Okay, let's talk NaNoWriMo.


I'm dying to participate in NaNo this year. The more people who sign up, and the more people I hear talking about it, the more I just really want to do it. But I just don't think it's the best idea for me right now.

I'm a Libra, so that means I'm pretty much incapable of making a decision. Anyone who has ever had the pleasure of asking me, "So, what do you want to do for dinner tonight?" can confirm that. So, I'm going to turn this to you, dear blog readers. I'm going to present you with all the facts I'm dealing with, and you can decide for me*.

My WIP right now is actually my NaNo project from 2008. I won that year, but I never finished it. Then I put it away for the most part. After awhile I pulled it out and read it, realized it was crap, pretty much tossed it and started telling the same story (with a lot of tweaks) from scratch. It took me a long time to rewrite that draft because drafting is difficult for me.

Right now I am revising that draft. I'm almost done with this round of revision, then I want to go back through a few more times, then send to CPs, then revise more. I'm hoping to have it all polished by the end of January.

Also, I have a full time job, a part time job, a volunteer position on my sorority alumnae board, two blogs, a husband, and I try to have a social life.

I do have a Shiny New Idea for NaNo. I started outlining it a bit ago, but I never finished. I do have quite a bit of it floating around my head, though.

So, here it is...should I participate in NaNoWriMo '10?

On one hand, I really want to focus on my WIP so I can finish the darn thing already and be done with it. I already have some issues dedicating the time to it that I need to. I'm very busy, and this would be another thing to add to my overflowing plate. And should I start something new when I'm not even done with my first project?

Also, I'm going on vacation for five days over Thanksgiving week.

On the other hand, I am a SLOW drafter, so I love the timeline involved in NaNo. If I start it, I will make myself finish, and I love the idea of coming out of it with at least a partially completed draft. I feel like if I don't do NaNo, my next draft will take like six months to write.

What do you guys think? Should I do it? Would you, if you were in my position? (And please don't tell me I should do it just because you are doing it, and you want me to play with you. I need serious answers here, people!)

And, just because I'm curious...who here is doing NaNo this year? What's your username on the site? (You know, just in case I want to go find you.)



*There is no guarantee I will actually do what you decide. But you can play along anyway.

Friday, October 15, 2010

New Layout!

I got a wild hair tonight and decided that I just NEEDED a cuter layout for my blog. (I also decided that I just NEEDED pizza. It's one of those nights.) 


I have to give a big shout out to A Blog To Brag About who offered this adorable template for FREE. She even lets you customize your girl so she looks like you. 


So, do you guys like it? 

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Win an ARC of Matched

Those of you who follow me on Twitter know that I discovered an ARC of Matched at my library used bookstore for $1. I snatched it up, even though I've already read it, because I wanted to share it with you guys!
(Well, I first thought of sharing it with my students and putting it in my classroom library, but I know they wouldn't be nearly as excited about it as you guys would be. I'll get them a copy when it comes out.)

So, you want a gently used ARC of Matched? All you need to do is be a follower of this blog, comment on this post by midnight on Sunday 10/17 (this is going to be a quick one), and have a US/Canada mailing address (sorry, I'm poor...and I already shelled out $1!)...that's it. Oh, and if you want to tweet/post about it, I'll give you an extra entry if you leave a link.

Easy ARC giveaway! I love it when I find things!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Tuesday Tunes (2)

Today's song for Tuesday Tunes is one that I love because it is pretty much a YA novel in song form.



If you've never heard Konstantine by Something Corporate, well, we need to change this right now. This song takes you through the joy and heartache, the highs and lows of a teenage relationship. It's one that I put on almost every writing playlist I ever make, because I think it so perfectly nails every intense feeling that goes along with falling in love and breaking up at that age. When I read YA, those are the kinds of stories I find myself drawn to, the ones about love and figuring it all out, so it's no surprise that I love this song as much as I do.

It's really all about the range of emotions. The books that stay with me the most are the ones that have me laughing and crying on the same page, and this song leaves me with that same feeling. It brings out joy and sadness within the same verse.

There's no official video for this song, so I'm sharing this live performance...mainly because I think Andrew McMahon is such a cutie pie. The song is almost 10 minutes long, so you really do need some time to commit to listening to it, but it's such a perfect addition to any teen angst playlist that I promise that it will be 10 minutes well spent.

Konstantine - Something Corporate

(These lyrics are a little bit different than the lyrics on the video because it's a live version. You can hear the studio version here.)

I can't imagine all the people that you know
And the places that you go
When the lights are turned down low
And I don't understand
All the things you've seen
But I'm slipping in between
You and your big... dreams
It's always you in my big dreams

And you tell me
That it's over
But I can't stand here in a patch of four leaf clover
And you're restless
And I'm naked
You've got to get out
You can't stand to see me shaking
No, could you let me go
I didn't think so

And you don't want to be here in the future
So you say
The present's just a pleasant
Interruption to the past
And you don't want to look much closer
'Cause you're afraid to find out all the hope
That you had sent into the sky by now had... crashed
And it did because of me

And then you bring me home
Afraid to find out that you're alone, no
And I'm sleeping in your living room
But we don't have much room
To live

And I had dreams that I would learn to play guitar
Maybe cross the country
Become a rockstar
And there was hope in me
That I could take you there
But dammit you're so young
But I don't think I care
And if I hurt you then I'm sorry
Please don't think that this was easy

And then you bring me home
'Cause we both know what its like to be alone, no
And I'm dreaming in your living room
But we don't have much room
To live

Konstantine came walking down the stairs
Doesn't she look good
Standing in her underwear?
And I've been thinking, and I've thinking, no
But she's been drinking
And it doesn't get me anywhere

My Konstantine came walking down the stairs
And all that I could do
Was touch her long blond hair
And I was thinking, what I was thinking ya know
We've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere

This is because I can spell confusion with a K
and I like it
It's to dying in another's arms
And why I had to try it
It's to jimmy eat world
And those nights in my car
But this time I'm alone, and I don't see those stars
I'm not your star?
Isn't that what you said
What you thought this song meant
You thought this song meant

And if this is what it takes
Just to lie in my mistakes
And live with what I did to you
And all the hell I put you through
I always catch the clock it's 11:11
And now you want to talk
It's not hard to dream
You'll always be my Konstantine

They'll never hurt you like I do
No, They'll never hurt you like I do
No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No

This is to a girl who got into my head
With all these pretty things she did
Hey Baby, You know that you keep me up in bed
It's to a girl who got into my head
With all the fucked up things I did
Hey maybe baby, you could keep me up in bed
My Konstantine

Spin around me like a dream
We played out on this movie screen
And I said,
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you

God, I miss you

And then you bring me home
And we'll go to sleep but this time not alone, no no,
And you'll kiss me in your living room, oh
And you see, no, that I've been missing in my Living room
Cause this is what I miss, what I miss
We don't have much room
I said, does anybody need that room?
Because we all need a little more room
To live

My Konstantine 

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Flawed

So I've been thinking...what kind of characters/narrators do you find yourself drawn to?

I really find myself drawn to the complicated, flawed, and somewhat unlikable characters, and I'm not sure why.

Parker in Cracked Up To Be? LOVED her. And I was truly baffled when I heard that people don't like Sam at the beginning of Before I Fall. What?!?! I connected with Sam from word one. And Remy from This Lullaby...oh man, that's a character I wish I would have written. I adore Remy. I want to be her bff.

  

The super sweet characters in books are great, and, yeah, I like them, too. But not as much as the flawed ones. There's just something about these bitchy girls that gets me. I understand them, I guess. I get them in so many ways.

But then I think of Darcy in Something Borrowed and Something Blue by Emily Giffin. I hated Darcy. Hated. She was a bitchy character who was horrible from the first page of Something Borrowed to the last page of Something Blue. I felt like her "redemption" was totally contrived and I never once, not even for one second, felt for her. I wanted her out of my life, never to return. I only finished Something Blue because I was hoping for the unhappy ending I felt she deserved.

 

Why do I love some bitchy characters so much and hate others? What was I able to find in Parker and Sam and Remy that I couldn't find in Darcy? (Is it just because they are teens? That's a whole different blog post...)

I'm thinking about this because the narrator in my WIP...well, she's kind of a bitch. She's gotten less bitchy the more I've revised...she was downright horrid in the very first draft. But she does do some things that aren't very nice, and I still get comments from readers about  making sure she doesn't get too unlikable.

Now...I get it. I do. I obviously want my readers to be able to connect with my narrator. So even if she is flawed in some major ways (which she is), she still needs to have something about her that people can relate to.

I was thinking I was getting closer to finding that balance in this round of revision, but then I got to this key scene...the one I was scared of the other day. I kept trying and trying to write it, but nothing was working. In fact, I was trying to get these characters to fight, and they wouldn't stop kissing! Nothing would get them to start getting mad at each other. Nothing...except changing it back to how it was written in the original draft. The super bitchy draft.

Well, now she's doing something kind of horrible. Because the nicer things just didn't work. Because it's just who she is. But now I'm worried. Is her bad behavior forgivable? Will people be able to connect with her? Is she a Parker? A Remy? A Sam? Or is she a Darcy?

So I wonder...what draws you to a flawed character? Do you like them like I do? How do you feel about the characters I mentioned? Who are some flawed characters you can give me for inspiration?

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Thanks to everyone for entering my little birthday giveaway and supporting my new blog by following. It means a lot to me.

I'm excited to announce that the winner of the sekrit signed book of her choice is...



Jamie reached into the Awesome Bag O' Signed Books and pulled out...

Geektastic edited by Holly Black and Cecil Castellucci
Signed by Cecil Castellucci

This was the newest addition to the Awesome Bag O' Signed Books...Jamie is a lucky girl!

Don't worry, there are still plenty of sekrit signed books in the bag, and I'll be bribing you with more giving more away soon.

I love all of you guys. *follower hugs*

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I Don't Have Writer's Block...

I'm sitting here in Panera staring at my open WIP. I'm doing a consistency pass for this round of revisions, so I'm basically making sure that all of the plot elements make sense together and catching anything I forgot to change as I drastically altered my plot about 17 times as I was drafting.

It's been fun.

Right now I'm staring at page 172 of my Word doc. This is out of 263 total pages. I'm feeling pretty good because I have fewer than 100 pages to go, and, if I remember correctly, there aren't a ton of changes I need to make toward the end. It was the beginning that was the hot mess.

I got a ton done yesterday. I brainstormed with my writing group and came up with some good solutions to plot elements that had been bugging me, and I blasted through a bunch of scenes.

I was anxious to get back into it today, but instead of working furiously, getting closer and closer to the end of this pass, I'm just sitting here.

Staring at my open Word doc.
Checking Twitter.
Peeking at the screen of the girl next to me. (She's playing a Tetris-like game)
Checking my phone.
Starting and not finishing e-mails.
Staring at people as they fill up their fountain drinks.
Shuffling my iTunes.

Doing everything but working on my writing.

The thing is, I don't have writer's block. I know this. I'm just at a pivotal make-or-break scene and I am scared to mess it up. And apparently I was scared of it in my draft, too, because when I came to page 172 last night, I found this little gem waiting for me:

Write this later

Yeah, I didn't write the scene back then because I was scared then, too. Thanks, Past Me. That was awesome of you. You should have just done it, you know?

So, here I am. Sitting in Panera, wasting the precious writing time I rarely get just staring at the screen, waiting for this scene to get easier.

Sadly, I know it won't.

So, it's not writer's block. It's writers' COWARDICE. Yup. I'm a big ol' chicken.

I'm trying to give myself a pep talk and just dive right in. I'm thinking a Panera pastry may help.

Do you guys ever face times like this...when you're just scared of a scene? How do you deal? I need help.