Monday, September 5, 2011

Campaigner Challenge: The War

It's time for the first challenge in the Campaign!


Here are the directions:


Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count)

For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!





Okay, so I knew if I was going to do this I would have to do it right. So of course I was going to do exactly 200 words and use the ending words, too.


I also knew this was going to be a challenge because short is so not my thing. I am the wordiest mofo around and I always use 4,826 words to say what I could say in 3. 


But I managed to put something together. So here it is in all of its 200 word glory. (FYI, the original version was 385 words. Heh.)




The door swung open, and all thirty-seven students in Chem turned in their seats.

Except me. I knew it was you.

My eyes drilled into my sloppy notes, covered with plans for what I would do to you next. It was your turn, but I needed to prepare, since I never knew when you’d strike. Apparently it was now, and after what I did to you yesterday in gym, I braced for the worst.

“Sorry to interrupt, Mrs. Reyes.” You paused, obviously struggling to keep your voice under control. “Is Kate Ngyuen here?”

I heard everyone turn toward me, but I kept staring at my notes like the lecture never stopped, like you hadn’t come in to completely humiliate me.

Then you were right there. Your Vans nudged my backpack in my peripheral vision.

“Your mom dropped these off with the nurse, Kate. I guess it’s an emergency.” Something thudded onto my notebook.

A box of Depends undergarments. On my desk. In the middle of Chem.

Dang, that was good.

The class erupted in laughter, but I wouldn’t let you see me react. And I was already planning my next prank in our little war as the door swung shut. 






That was actually pretty fun. And it was a nice little warm up as I'm about to dive into some pretty heavy revisions on my WIP. (Hopefully the last round...cross your fingers!)


Go check out the other Campaigners over at Rach's blog. There are a lot of fun entries out there!

60 comments:

  1. Oooh. Will we ever get to read about her revenge prank??

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  2. Second-person narrative... very daring! I like it :D And it's clever and funny, too.

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  4. yep loved that! hi from a fellow campaigner, I am number 62.

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  5. Ha-larious! Really enjoyed this one, Jessica - great job!

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  6. That was great! Really made me wonder what the answering prank would be :)

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  7. I sadly didn't have time to sign up but I'm loving all of these!!! Great entry!!! So fun! :)

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  8. Ha! Reminds me of my teen-aged son and his friends. They would get a kick out of something like this. (Once in a locker room, they put a glittery play crown, plastic 'kiddie' high heeled shoes, and a feather boa into someone's bag that had previously pranked them.) So...if it's true to life you were going for, you nailed it! Too funny. ~ Nadja

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  9. Hahahaha. Very cute! Prank wars, I like it.

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  10. I seriously love this. Thanks for being the first to make me laugh. I've read alot of these and although a lot are good this was the best! i'm #72

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  11. Love it! It's fun and light. Good luck in the challenge!

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  12. Fantastic! I love that you used the last four words as part of a sentence! And oh, the humiliation!

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  13. Fantastic. And in second-person, too? You rocked this challenge. ;)

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  14. That was a great read. Humiliation indeed, but he'll get his, right? D

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  15. Oh, I love that! Had me laughing but I can't wait to see how the MC will retaliate. Good luck with your revisions!

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  16. Loved it Jessica! My heart dropped. Horrible high school revenge scenarios are a deep fear of mine, and I've been out of high school for a LONG time. Great job. Now I'm off to "like" you :)

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  17. I want to read more! I love that you did second-person... very creative. Great job, Jess!

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  18. That was also fun to read :)

    by the way, I think mine was 418 words when I *finished*, then I whittled it down to 200 ;)

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  19. You're awesome and THAT was fabulous! I want to read more!!!

    I have yet to write my challenge. Maybe by Friday. Maybe.

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  20. That was lots of fun to read! Depends...hehe. Sarah xx

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  21. I LOVED it. Great 200 words. You didn't need 4000+.

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  22. That was fantastic. Thanks for putting a smile on my face!

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  23. This is hilarious! So glad we're fellow campaigners :)

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  24. Brilliant! Loved the prank and approach. :)

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  25. Hi Jessica, Great and funny! You made it so easy to picture a humiliating high school moment :)

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  26. That's hilarious! I laughed so hard. Excellent prank.

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  27. Very funny. Nicely written. I loved it.

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  28. excelente!
    bravissimo!
    thanks for taking us thru a different door!
    great job =)

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  29. I loved this! It was excellent. At first I thought it was from the teacher's perspective, but this was definitely better. What great writing!

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  30. Fun story! Oh high school pranks. Luckily Kate's nemesis didn't drop off tampons for her in the middle of class. That would've been a letter to Cosmo waiting to happen.

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  31. So clever!! I should do that to my kids sometime ;)

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  32. Congratulations. Your flash fiction has been chosen to go on to stage two of the competition. There will be a semi-final (stage three) and a final (stage four). Good luck with the next stages. I loved the cringingly embarrassing prank and you've left me longing to know what she'll do in retaliation.

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  33. Depends, huh? You have teen humor down very well :-) Hi from a fellow campaigner who *still* doesn't have her entry up yet. This afternoon, for sure.

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  34. Oh I love it! Not so different from reality either. My best friend is a BIG prank player so I'm always the one trying to stop her LOL. That reminded me of her :)

    (my entry is #236)

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  35. lol, I'm suprised that the response wasnt, "I'm so glad my mom came through for me. I needed those just in case I had to pick up your shit." But then again I'm a bit more vocal and a pain in the butt... my teachers probably have plenty of story to say about me. Great job!

    I'm entry #251 and we're in the same YA group! YAY!

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  36. Hilarious, I loved the prank, although I would never want to be in her shoes!

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  37. Bwah! That was so funny. Interesting mix of 1st and 2nd person - it worked perfectly for your story. And I love that Kate was trying so hard not to give any reaction at all.

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  38. LOVE it! Seriously, you made me laugh so hard I was worried I'd wake the neighbors. Very clever 200 words you have there.

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  39. Wow! A revenge story. I actually felt your character's humiliation. Yikes! I want to know more about what's going on between these characters.

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  40. Hahahaha awesome! I wish we were in the same campaign group, but I guess I'll just have to settle for following and reading on my own. :D Looking forward to more posts!

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  41. Kids can be so vindictive, can't they? Loved this entry. It made me laugh and cringe.

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  42. Depends?! I love it! Super funny--and here I was, thinking it was something serious. Excellent job! :)

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  43. Oh that was just too funny:)

    http://www.doreenmcgettigan.com

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  44. Ha. Great story. I would die if someone pulled that prank on me in HS. I wonder how she'll get him back? :D

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  45. Oh I loved this! Reminded me of when I was at school and the pranks my best friend and I used to play on each other. Great to fit so much into so few. Voting :) (and following).

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  46. Loved this. Has a great feel to it and made me smile :D

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  47. Man, high school prank/revenge stories always make me so uncomfortable, in a good way. This was a great read and I loved the tense--nicely done!

    I want to know who these two characters are and what started this whole prank thing!

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  48. Yeah, that was a fun story to read. It's nice to meet you, and welcome to the Campaign trail.

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  49. I've been working on some short stories lately and being a wordy mofo is very much my problem, too. This was fun, though!

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