Tuesday, February 14, 2012

My Valentine To Jason Segel

Dear Jason Segel,

It's weird. I'm a writer, you know? Writing is what I do. It's my thing. But when it comes to sitting down and trying to tell you all of my feelings through this blog, I'm really struggling. It's like when you really, really love a book, so much that when you finished it you actually hold it in your arms and hug it, and you all at once want to tell everyone you know about it and keep it tightly to yourself, well, when you finish that book and try to write a review and all that comes out is OMG!!!!OMG!!! <3!!!

Yeah, that's what this is like. I'm feeling a little inarticulate all of a sudden. (Does being articulate only apply to speech? I don't even know. SEE WHAT YOU DO TO ME, JASON SEGEL?)

But, even though I'm having a difficult time with this, I must power on. Because I am writing you this Valentine as part of YA Highway's Valentine's Lovefest, Jason Segel, and there is something very important that I need to let you know.

I think you are my muse.

This is how it goes. When I'm stuck on a relationship-y scene, or a pine-y scene, or a making out-y scene, and the words aren't flowing, when I'm just stuck, I will sometimes stop what I'm doing and clear my mind. And do you know what happens to be the first thing I see when I close my eyes and try to solve my writing problem? It's you, Jason Segel.

It's you.

However, after just a few short minutes of daydreaming about going out in LA, taking a seat at a barstool next to you by mere chance, striking up a conversation, and, within minutes, falling madly in love*, I'm suddenly feeling ALL OF THE FEELINGS, and I'm able to finish that troublesome scene. The scene doesn't always work...I mean, let's be real here, 9 times out of 10 it is total crap. But it gets finished, and I wouldn't be able to finish it without you.

Yup, just that few minutes of inappropriate daydreaming and I am right back on track writing that teen romance story I had been struggling with. Because that's how you make me feel, Jason Segel. Like a giddy teenager, in love for the first time. Just a brief visit to F- Yeah Jason Segel and I am able to recapture everything swoony and awkward about first love.

So, thank you.

Thank you for walking around looking like this:
Even though it is SO NOT FAIR. (I mean, MY GOD. SERIOUSLY?)

Thank you for doing things like this, and proving that you have the best sense of humor of anyone, ever:


Thank you for making obscene hand gestures in Bad Teacher and then turning around and making the Muppet movie, thereby proving you are, in fact, the most perfect man to walk the earth.

Thank you for inspiring pretty much every YA love interest I want to write, because I think every dreamy teenage boy in a YA novel (or in real life) should be just like you.

Thank you for being so rad, Jason Segel, and thank you for being my muse. If I ever do run into you in a bar in LA, first round is on me.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Yours very truly,

Jessica Love


*Am I completely delusional for thinking that this scenario is 100% plausible? I don't think I am. I think you would quite enjoy me if we were ever to meet. 

57 comments:

  1. Oh it's not only plausible, it's probable. <3

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  2. This is so sweet Jess. I like him too, but not THAT much. He's all yours ;0

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  3. And what a wonderful muse he is :D
    If he only knew how inspiring he can be to you, he'd invite you for a drink...Happy Valentine's Day Jessica!

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  4. I love him, he is awesome and this is great! You should tweet him the link and maybe you can get a date with him like that girl with the Youtube video :)

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    1. I loved that girl's video! She is obviously a girl after my own heart.

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  5. Huh. I expected John Green

    But since you're technically already married to him according to your students I guess this makes sense.

    ;-)

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    1. I might actually meet John Green for real at some point. Don't want to make myself feel TOO foolish. ;-)

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  6. Love! Have you tweeted this to Jason?

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  7. I love this so much it isn't even funny.
    I hope he reads it!! I want to tweet it to him! LOL!

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  8. Yeah, you need to tweet this to him.
    He is so worthy of this love :)

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  9. Holy crap this is an awesome post.
    1) I had never seen that live performance with Swell Season before, and it pretty much ROCKS my world. "That's exactly what I'm workin' with"! OMG. Love.
    2) This really is how YA love interests should be. Self-deprecating, sweet, funny---NORMAL. Or if anything, abnormally AWESOME.
    3) The meet-accidentally-at-a-bar scenario is totally, completely, 100% plausible. If anything, it's PROBABLE!

    I love J.S. And I love you. Best post! <3

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    1. Isn't that Swell Season video THE BEST?! I see shows at that theater all the time, and it kills me that I wasn't there for that show. Although I probably would have actually died had I been there live.

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  10. 4) THOSE PICTURES. Why are you so freaking hilarious.

    <3 <3 <3

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  11. HAHAHA!! You are so adorbs. :)

    Happy Valentine's Day!
    Love,
    Lola

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    1. Aww, thank you, dear. Happy Valentine's Day!

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  12. This is great! Maybe Jason will see this and then, who knows? :)

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    1. I'm not giving up on my dream of running into him...

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  13. Woot WooooT! Awesome (and adorable)!

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  14. You're totally going to meet him, Jessica. I can feel it! It's a lovely letter.

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    1. From your mouth (fingers?) to God's ears!

      Happy Valentine's day!

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  15. This. Is. Awesome. You will totally meet him one day. :D

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  16. <3 Jason Segel! This: "Thank you for making obscene hand gestures in Bad Teacher and then turning around and making the Muppet movie, thereby proving you are, in fact, the most perfect man to walk the earth."

    He is a keeper.

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  17. I can't believe you didn't feature the vampire musical! That is pure genius, and that's when I fell for him.

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    1. I didn't want to go overboard with my praise. Don't want to seem like a weirdo, you know? ;-)

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  18. This is great and incidentally, so is Jason Segal. Favourite part in Bad Teacher--when he chucks the basketball at that kid and calls him 'Twilight' because of his Edward-esque coif. Awesome.

    Thanks for making me smile today :-)

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    1. You're very welcome. Happy Valentine's day! :-D

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  19. So brave of you to write this proclamation of love to Jason! I bet he'd be very touched. I can understand him being your muse.

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    1. I don't understand how he's not EVERYONE'S muse!

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  20. I REALLY hope he sees and replies :-)

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    1. My love has been professed. That's all that matters. ;-)

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  21. This post is pretty awesome. I definitely think you'll meet him.

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    1. It will happen when I look like crap, I guarantee you.

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  22. That was pretty funny. He'll probably read this and email you... never know. I wrote a review on my blog for "Tokyo Vice" and the author actually showed up and commented to me and we chatted a bit. So, you NEVER know ;)

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    1. You're right...you never know! This blog could be the start of something beautiful. Jason Segel...call me!

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  23. By the way, I officially linked you on my blog. I add blogs relative to the writing community that I enjoy.

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  24. This is creepy and awesome. I hope he happens by it. :)

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  25. I couldn't NOT hop over here on my blog day off and read your ode to Jason Segal. It's fabulous and I think you should go stage ten stalker and send him the link on Twitter. LOVE IT.

    Happy Valentine's Day!

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  26. Jess, this is fantastic! I hope Jason moseys on over to your blog and absorbs all the awesomeness of this post. Seriously. Too funny! Happy Valentine's Day!

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    1. Haha...thanks Katy! Happy Valentine's Day!

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  27. holy shit, jess. you just out-segel-crushed everyone ever...including my husband who has basically had a mega-mancrush on him since freaks & geeks. i love everything about this.

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    1. Your husband is awesome. And my Segel Crush knows no bounds. :-D

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  28. Yes!!! I thought I may have been the only person out there who obsesses over Jason Segel (meaning I've watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall to the point of being able to act it out- and that I watch the "Peter You Suck" portion whenever I need a good laugh) Oh, and don't get me started on How I Met Your Mother ;)

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