Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Bribs and Life's Wrinkles



Tuesdays: May I tell you something about myself? 

Here's a random Jess story for you. 

Back in 2001 I got really into the second season of that reality game show The Mole. If you never watched The Mole, it was a pretty fun show, with all of the contestants trying win challenges for money, but one of them secretly working against everyone to sabotage the challenges and lose money. So not only were the contestants trying to win the challenges, but they were also trying to discover the identity of The Mole as well as trying to trick the other contestants into thinking that they might be The Mole. 

And if you are doubting the awesome of this premise I'll just tell you that Anderson Cooper was the host, and that should tell you what you need to know. 

There was a really hot guy on the second season of The Mole. His name was Bribs, and his hot ass was 97% of the reason I watched the show so regularly. I was an internet stalker before it was a thing, so I went online and looked up whatever I could find about this guy. 

Michael "Bribs" Bribiesca

It turned out he was quite the photographer and offered prints of his photos for sale on his website. So, even though I was working my very first job out of college where I made $25,000/year and, well, as broke as only a girl with her first job right out of college could be, I convinced myself that I NEEDED one of these $75 prints in my little apartment.  

Yeah, master of awesome financial decisions. That's me. 

I didn't particularly like any of the prints...that's the funny thing. But, you know, try talking some sense into me when there is a hot guy involved. I finally decided on one of a beach cliff-type landscape, I paid for it somehow (was PayPal around in 2001? I seriously feel like I wrote a check and mailed it to him. I wish I could remember), and then I sat around and waited for the print to arrive, excited to have a piece of this random hot guy from a reality show in my life and on my wall. 

But I waited a long time. And it didn't come. And then I was worried. Did this hot guy from The Mole rip me off? Did he steal my $75? BUT HE WAS SO HOT! He wouldn't do that! But...ugh, where was my photo?

Then. You guys. THEN one day at work I got a phone call from a number I didn't know. And even back then I didn't answer calls from numbers I didn't know. But I went to listen to the voicemail. AND IT WAS BRIBS. Hot reality show guy CALLED ME ON MY PHONE FROM TEXAS. He apologized for taking so long with my order or some such, and he was super nice to me on my voicemail and oh man was I one happy girl that day. He left me his phone number (!!!), so even though I hate phone calls, I built up all of my courage and I called him back. I got his vm, but I tried to sound all flirty and cool and told him it was okay I wasn't freaking out over him taking forever just send it whenever hee hee. And then I saved his number in my phone like we were best friends or something.

So finally my print arrived. And I tore into the package. And...it was the wrong print. It wasn't what I had ordered. AT ALL. Instead of a beach cliff-type landscape he sent me a print of a wrinkly old man called "Life's Wrinkles."

Um. I was just out of college and sharing an apartment on the beach with two girls. What on earth was I supposed to do with a black and white photo of an old man? 

Now, the obvious answer here would be to call him up again and let him know about the mix up. It would have meant more time to chat on the phone, which would possibly lead to us being best friends for realz. But I was so weird about the phone (still am) and I didn't want to make him feel bad (I realize this makes no sense, since he lagged on my order and then sent me the wrong thing), so I just kept the old man print. 

And I have proudly displayed the random photo in my home ever since. 

59 comments:

  1. Hahahahah I love that story, Jess! I cracked up at those lines:
    "I was an internet stalker before it was a thing"
    "BUT HE WAS SO HOT! He wouldn't do that"
    "And then I saved his number in my phone like we were best friends or something"
    :D So you never called the guy again, uh? Maybe he has expecting this phone call ever since or maybe he is now friends with Jason Segel...Just saying...Great post!

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    1. Oh, don't toy with me like that, Elodie! ;-)

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  2. This is HILARIOUS, Jessica! I love it. I also thought you had said "I was ON the 2nd season of the Mole" and was going to say....I didn't see you/recognize you. lol. What we read without eyeglasses. :p
    I'm celebrating today by...well...its my birthday so celebrating away :)

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    1. Yay...happy birthday!

      And, no I wasn't ON The Mole. But I WAS on an episode of The Bachelorette. ;-) (Story for another day, I guess...)

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  3. I think you and I were meant to be best friends. So if I ever send you the wrong thing, please do call and let me know.

    Also, this is exactly the sort of thing I would do (err...have done--I'm way too mature now. *shifty eyes*). Gooooo Jessica.

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    1. Oh yeah...I am WAY to mature for this sort of thing now. WAY too mature. Uh.

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  4. The Mole was THE reality show. Pure awesome, and the only saving grace for all the ridiculousness that's on tv now. That is a fantastic story :)

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    1. It really was. Too bad Anderson stopped hosting...he MADE that show! I guess he had to go and get all serious on us. Whatever.

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  5. Hahaha. Love this story. Also, I loved that show. I really hate reality TV but that show was so much fun. I loved trying to figure out who the mole was.

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    1. It was so fun! I loved when the contestants did things to sabotage the missions and throw people off.

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  6. I'm laughing so hard right now. Oh, God.

    And OMG I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THE MOLE. (I have no idea how, since Anderson Cooper was the host. How do I forget things like this?) I used to love that show. I used to watch it with my mom in random hotel rooms when we were in the midst of YET ANOTHER MOVE, and yeah.

    I'm sorry if none of that made any sense. I just chugged a cup of coffee.

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    1. How could you forget about The Mole?! It was seriously THE BEST.

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  7. This is hilarious! I also loved The Mole. I miss that show. I can't believe you kept the picture of the old man, but what a great story.

    Back when Tony Lucca was doing his independent singer/songwriter stuff, I bought one of his early cds off his website. This was back in like 1999 I want to say. I paid by check, and this was back when my bank would send me all the checks back. He signed the back himself! I was SO excited and kept it. ha.

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    1. Oh, Tony Lucca. I totally would have kept it, too.

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  8. Ha! Love this story. And I'm happy to know that I'm not the only phone weirdo out there!

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  9. This might be the funniest Jess story I have ever heard. I love you.

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    1. Aww, I love you, too! And, oh man, I have more where this came from. Haha.

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  10. Awesome. I love that the picture is pretty much an ad for migraine medicine or something--that guy was obviously super-talented, and I'm shocked that I hadn't heard of him before.

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    1. It totally looks like a migrane ad!

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  11. Hahahaha, you are ridiculous and awesome.

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  12. That is a hilarious story :) And I'm with you on the phone weirdness--thank heavens for texting!

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    1. Oh man...I don't remember how I survived before texting. I HATE the phone.

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  13. HA. I know how you feel about the phone. Also, I LOVED the Mole. I totally remember that guy. They should bring that show back.

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    1. YAY! I'm so glad you remember him. Makes me feel like I didn't make this whole thing up.

      They DO need to bring it back, but it's just not the same without Anderson Cooper.

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  14. THE MOLE! Oh my God, I loved The Mole. I actually own both the first regular and the first celebrity season (which was AWESOME) on DVD, and I'm not even ashamed to admit it. (Well, okay, I'm a little ashamed.) That is an EXCELLENT story. I really hope he Googles himself regularly and finds this.

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    1. Why am I not surprised you own these on DVD? :)

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    2. I loved the celebrity seasons, too! No shame in those DVDs!

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  15. I can STILL laughing over this! Oh man. That's a great story. :D

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    1. Haha...I'm still laughing over it, too. 10 years later. hahaha

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  16. This is one of my favorites of all your posts! Sparing someone else's feelings at my own expense or inconvenience is something I can totally relate to. And that last image of you and the photograph... Priceless!

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    1. I'm glad you get me on that one, Katy. I felt ridiculous as I was typing it out, but it's totally how I am.

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  17. That's amazing. I really have nothing to contribute here but that is a FANTASTIC story.

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  18. Talk about the ultimate bait and switch. I think you should drunk dial him.

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    1. Oh man...if only I still had that number. (That was like five phones ago)

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  19. Dude. Your stories make my day. Thank you for putting a smile on my face at the end of a long, long day. :)

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  20. Awesome story! I remember that show, although I must not have watched his season. I'm with you on the phone weirdness. I wouldn't have called him about the mix-up either.

    Fun blog. Following! :)

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    1. Yay! Thanks for following! :-D

      And, yay for another phone phobia! So glad I'm not alone.

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  21. I love this story SO. MUCH. But the real question is -- do you still have his number? And I remember watching that show but have no recollection of who the actual Mole was...I feel like this majorly incompletes my life now.

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    1. Aww, man. Nope. I think I transfered it over for one phone switch, but I eventually had to accept the fact that I would never use it.

      Or I dropped my phone in the pool and it was gone forever. I don't really remember.

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  22. OMG so funny! I love that you still display the photo years later. Hahaha.

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    1. Oh yeah. I will always find a place in my home for that photo! It's a key piece of the decor now!

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  23. That is a great story! I love that you kept the photo after all this time.

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    1. Oh yeah...I love it! And I love when people ask me what the heck it is.

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  24. Love this story!!! So fun to still learn more about you after all these years.

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  25. You truly do have some of the best stories. :)

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    1. Oh man, I have so many. But I wonder if I should save them so I can use them in books in the future. ;-)

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  26. LOL Jess--that cracks me up. AND it's so something I would have done at that age! (Okay, and maybe at this age too...)

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    1. Tee hee. Let's be real. It would still happen. Hahaha.

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  27. I would have done the same thing.

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  28. Well, this is just freakn' hi-LARIOUS. I'm so glad I stumbled upon this page during my world wide web meanderings. ;)

    Needless to say, I'm incredibly sorry for sending you the wrong photo. Not entirely sure how that happened. (then again, I do remember thinking at the time that everyone should have a photo of an old man and his wrinkles.) I'll be more than happy to send you a print of the photo you requested, if I can still find the negatives.

    Then again, life is all about stories. And this, Jess....is a GREAT story. The story behind the old man photo is pretty good, as well. Perhaps I'll save that one for later. Let's see if this post finds its way back to you....

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