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Tuesdays: May I tell you something about myself?
Here's a random Jess story for you.
Back in 2001 I got really into the second season of that reality game show The Mole. If you never watched The Mole, it was a pretty fun show, with all of the contestants trying win challenges for money, but one of them secretly working against everyone to sabotage the challenges and lose money. So not only were the contestants trying to win the challenges, but they were also trying to discover the identity of The Mole as well as trying to trick the other contestants into thinking that they might be The Mole.
And if you are doubting the awesome of this premise I'll just tell you that Anderson Cooper was the host, and that should tell you what you need to know.
There was a really hot guy on the second season of The Mole. His name was Bribs, and his hot ass was 97% of the reason I watched the show so regularly. I was an internet stalker before it was a thing, so I went online and looked up whatever I could find about this guy.
Michael "Bribs" Bribiesca
It turned out he was quite the photographer and offered prints of his photos for sale on his website. So, even though I was working my very first job out of college where I made $25,000/year and, well, as broke as only a girl with her first job right out of college could be, I convinced myself that I NEEDED one of these $75 prints in my little apartment.
Yeah, master of awesome financial decisions. That's me.
I didn't particularly like any of the prints...that's the funny thing. But, you know, try talking some sense into me when there is a hot guy involved. I finally decided on one of a beach cliff-type landscape, I paid for it somehow (was PayPal around in 2001? I seriously feel like I wrote a check and mailed it to him. I wish I could remember), and then I sat around and waited for the print to arrive, excited to have a piece of this random hot guy from a reality show in my life and on my wall.
But I waited a long time. And it didn't come. And then I was worried. Did this hot guy from The Mole rip me off? Did he steal my $75? BUT HE WAS SO HOT! He wouldn't do that! But...ugh, where was my photo?
Then. You guys. THEN one day at work I got a phone call from a number I didn't know. And even back then I didn't answer calls from numbers I didn't know. But I went to listen to the voicemail. AND IT WAS BRIBS. Hot reality show guy CALLED ME ON MY PHONE FROM TEXAS. He apologized for taking so long with my order or some such, and he was super nice to me on my voicemail and oh man was I one happy girl that day. He left me his phone number (!!!), so even though I hate phone calls, I built up all of my courage and I called him back. I got his vm, but I tried to sound all flirty and cool and told him it was okay I wasn't freaking out over him taking forever just send it whenever hee hee. And then I saved his number in my phone like we were best friends or something.
So finally my print arrived. And I tore into the package. And...it was the wrong print. It wasn't what I had ordered. AT ALL. Instead of a beach cliff-type landscape he sent me a print of a wrinkly old man called "Life's Wrinkles."
Um. I was just out of college and sharing an apartment on the beach with two girls. What on earth was I supposed to do with a black and white photo of an old man?
Now, the obvious answer here would be to call him up again and let him know about the mix up. It would have meant more time to chat on the phone, which would possibly lead to us being best friends for realz. But I was so weird about the phone (still am) and I didn't want to make him feel bad (I realize this makes no sense, since he lagged on my order and then sent me the wrong thing), so I just kept the old man print.
And I have proudly displayed the random photo in my home ever since.