Losing my job is, quite literally, the worst breakup I have ever had to suffer through. I feel like I've been dumped by a boyfriend I am still desperately in love with for the biggest "it's not you, it's me" reason ever, and then forced by circumstance to keep hanging out with his awesome family for another few weeks and pretend like everything is A-OK.
It's been difficult, yo.
I cry EVERY DAY. The second my students leave my classroom I crumple up in a heap in my chair and just sob my eyes out. I barely hold myself together front of them. A kid brought me flowers that he picked for me from his front yard and I made him leave because it was so unexpected and thoughtful and I knew I was going to lose it and I didn't want to do it in front of him.
This is the last week of school and I don't know how I'm going to get through it.
The thing that makes it harder and easier is that my students have been so rad. I wasn't sure if I was going to tell them what was going on, but I had to start packing my infamous classroom library and I knew they would be asking questions, so I just told them. Since then they have been doing the NICEST things for me.
Like I said, one of my kids from last year brought me these beautiful roses from his yard. (He promised me that his parents were okay with it...haha) They are on my bookshelf at home right now and they have opened up so beautifully that I can't help but smile when I look at them.
They have been writing the most thoughtful and amazing things in my yearbook.
And then there was this awesomeness...
I guess that's not too much of a surprise given that this is how I'm signing yearbooks this year...
But the best thing that these awesome kids have done for me...they took it upon themselves to start a petition to save my job.
This week is going to be really, really tough for me. I'm thankful every day for the time I've had with these rad kids, and I'm hoping, hoping, hoping there is something amazing right around the corner for me. But it's hard for me to get up in the morning, and I've been spending every evening wrapped in my blanket on my couch, trying to just wish this all away.
I'll get myself together next week. I promise. I have no intention of staying this mopey and depressed for the long term. But breakups really suck, and I'm just having a hard time with the whole put on a happy face thing for now.
I go by my married name at school, so I blocked it out because I am paranoid about the anonymity of my students. Go away, stalkers.